Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What made you recently say to yourself, “Wait. Really?”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do older siblings always hate younger siblings?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Report: Women's sports athletes to file appeal on House vs. NCAA settlement citing Title IX violations - On3.com

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Artificial Intelligence Is Unlocking the Secrets of Black Holes - WIRED

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why do most men who date ugly women brag like it's some big accomplishment, when any guy can pull an ugly woman?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fakery

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

I can count

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why does my penis look like a mushroom when it gets big?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How is bestiality wrong, but killing animals for sport or trophies is considered okay?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A Year Out From the World Cup, the USMNT Looks Unprepared to Defend Home Turf - The Ringer

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I am 11 years old and I think I am going through puberty. Why do my nipples hurt when I touch them? Is it normal?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

What are the consequences of being addicted to something? Is it considered wrong to have an addiction?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can read

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously